adryazad.com
my thoughts, my creations, and what not….

“when i grow up i want to be a pilot”

“karang bila aku dah besor aku nak jadik juruterbang”

perut aku besor siut.. dah start nampak macam kaki botol, padahal aku tak minum, untuk pengetahuan anda, orang india panggil kaki botol ‘kudhi karan kupe’.. cis, buncit betul. member aku cakap perut aku buncit pasal aku minum banyak sangat air. aku tak tau la sama ada apa yang dia kata tu betul ke tak. malas aku nak dok pikir. jiwa aku tak cukup tenteram skarang untuk pikir pasal benda cam tuh. nak meletup rasanya kepala aku. ISHK!!! angle gambo ni buat aku nampak pendek la. tapi.. aku memang pendek.. hehe

okay.. obviously thats no flight suit, and obviously i don’t even have the physique to be mistaken as one (hopefully that will change soon..heh). just got back from site (of which i shalln’t disclose the location) a few hours ago. and i’m not really in a very good place mentally at the moment. my thoughts are mostly out of sync. there’s still alot to do. i probably smoked more then 2 packs a day in the past few days, and thats a hard to reach number since we aren’t allowed to smoke on the premises. there were so many questions that i could not answer and some many decisions that i could not make. i only wish what i have said there and then were the right words to have been spoken. and i also hope that i don’t land in the hot seat in the next coming days.

looking at my picture i suddenly think of what it would have been like if i was a pilot instead. i’ve seen planes taking-off up close, and every time the landing gear lifts off the ground, i find myself awestruck-ed. how can something so hefty and huge fly off so gently as if weightless in to space? yes, i’m amazed by the feats of people, and appreciate the laws of physics, but in that moment, i feel that there definately a supreme being looking down on us. okay, that was pretty unrelated, but hell i just feel like writing.

we stayed in a resort by the sea, a little run down but, it wasn’t all that bad either. had some awesome food. for two nights straight i had tom yam and rice. yeah, i love rice, perhaps thats why i’m just THAT fat anyhow. i got a parking fine while stopping at a hardware store to buy some supplies. i didn’t know that i needed to use parking coupons on a saturday in that state. bah.. such luck. to make matters worse, someone tried prying into my car boot. if found out after trying to open the boot with my car keys and all i managed to do was spin the lock in place, and the next thing i knew, the lock just popped out of the hole. thank god, they didn’t take anything, perhaps we walked to the car in the nick of time, as my colleagues and I saw a duo walking away from the car when we appeared.

oh, and i think i got a speeding ticket. haha. i was trying to chase down this toyota hatchback on the highway while heading home. i’ve never seen that model here in Malaysia before, and the dude was driving pretty fast. when i finally got beside him, i glanced to the right and saw the policeman pointing his radar gun at me. SIEN.

right now i wish i could whisk her away to somewhere quiet and lay beside her and do nothing, just enjoy the company. thats what i want, but just like what the rolling stones sang..”you can’t always get what you want”.

while i was out of town, i thought about writing about semantics (read design semantics), but i can’t seem to recall the example that i wanted to use.

as of 2220hrs tuesday wednesday night, adryazad shall leave Malaysia and head to Bangkok for a long awaited holiday. A well needed break from the computer, internet and people i suppose. I don’t know what to expect whilst there, but since i’ll be traveling with ky and terenceg, i would say that i can expect some good times. hehe. anyway i still got tonnes of things to prepare. Hope my next post will bare the fruits of our adventure. till then, see you on the 9th of april!

A reply to ’sebbie can shoot better pictures’ in a comment by terenceg about my tmn bunga write up

okay, maybe i’m just using it as an excuse to write this. but i’ve often wondered about this issue so i guess now i have the chance to get it down in writing.

i’ve always had a certain affinity for art and design, and also a natural drive to understand how things work. which actually lead me to have studied and worked in the field that i’m working in. i don’t exactly claim  that i am an arty person but hey i appreciate good design. but there’s this one thing that i really believe in is that, as we grow older a little bit of curiousity and creativity dies in us. i wonder why.

i remember once, i was in primary school i think. my class teacher spoke to my mom about my colouring habits during class. Apparently, I always coloured in peoples skin tone in purple. and my teacher remarked that THATS WRONG. WHERE HAVE YOU EVER SEEN PURPLE PEOPLE? and from that day onwards, i started colouring people’s skintones in yellow (i think it was to represent chinese, dark brown - indian , and liight brown - malays) <— see.. subconciously we instill racial profiling in children at such and early age.. *sniggers* joking ok..

i really resent this sort of situations happening. i guess what I really mean is, what’s wrong with children doing things a little different. so what if i coloured  people purple? there’s certainly nothing wrong with them.

try looking at a young childs drawing of a person (more often then not it will be a drawing of their mother), you’ll probably notice that the proportion is ALL WRONG. the head appears to be bigger then the body. And we adults will in turn tell the bog/girl that his drawing is not proportionate and is WRONG. but have we ever thought that perhaps, they have their own reason of drawing in such a manner? maybe the kid drew his/her mom’s face bigger because its the part which he recognises the most and wants to describe it on paper the best he can? hence the whole bigger face?

i remember once when i was sitting down with my first nephew teaching how to paint with water colour.. and he drew a green coloured bird. my reaction was

“wahh i never seen a green coloured bird before. but today i see one already, because its  your drawing” * yes i know there are such things as green parrots and what not.. just that we normally draw birds as a V in black right??

as we get older, we are forced to conform to formality, and try to obtain perfection. we confine ourselves within a bounding box which limits our creativity, all in the search of painting a perfect picture. but i say, to hell with that.. bring out the imperfections, the quirkiness, the purple coloured people. why constraint our thoughts?  why succumb to ego and later on find out that you’re on the losing side of things…

okay, maybe this didn’t make sense at all, i’m just ranting.

*wah i just notice i spelled CREATIVE JUICES AS CRETIVE JUICES.. damn my english is bad

its not that i regularly read the newspapers or anything, but lately i’ve been avoiding reading the news, be it online or not. by a friend gave me a link, and as usual i clicked on it, only to get disappointed.

taken from NST online. Read the full article here.

“Penang Umno will recommend to the Federal Government to stop all proposed mega projects in the state, include those planned under the Northern Corridor Economic Region (NCER), the second Penang Bridge, the light monorail transit system, the Penang Outer Ring Road, the Penang Sentral and the RapidPenang bus service.”

i was seriously dumbfounded when i read that caption. i believe i still have to right to have opinions on stuff so here’s my point of view on things. don’t you feel that its a little immature to do something like that? in fact, the first thought that came to my mind was this.

“alaaa, ko tak nak bagi saya gula-gula tuh.. malas laaaa aku nak main ngan ko”

translation : “aiyaa.. you dowan give me some sweets, then i dowan play with you laaaaaa”

I THOUGHT ONLY CHILDREN ACTED THAT WAY. JEEZ. should we be thinking for the SAKE of the people. and wouldn’t continuing the projects at least come off as an act of good faith? or do you NOT want to win back the hearts of the citizens. i wonder what will the repercussions be if this goes on? maybe penang will never go back to the ex-ruling state government. but then again, thats just my take on things.

was pretty shocked when i saw it this morning, i tried to think nothing of it. after all i’ve got nothing to do with you anymore especially many months has passed since then. when i saw it, i felt that you were sellign yourself short, i thought you were going through a rough time or something, hence you make a rash decision. but appears that it wasn’t an irrational move.

but then again, who am i to to approve or disapprove of it? i guess back then i actually had a say in things. and right now if i were to tell you what i felt about what i saw, you’d say its none of my business. which is true.  but in my defense, i would say that i would do the same for anyone i know. thats it.

i don’t know, maybe because, even thought time has passed, and whatever there was between us is gone, it doesn’t mean that i do not still care about how you are. and of course i still wish you all the best and that you succeed in all your undertakings. i still care deeply for you were once part of who i was. its simple as that.

but i’d like to offer a sincere apology for all the wrong things that i have said and done.

thanks.

it just gets to me every time i decide to drive home early. i get stuck in a jam that i feel is TOTALLY unnecessary. everyday during my commute back home i see this and it adds angst in my already full heart. jeez, why can’t people drive properly???

this is a drawing of the intersection turning off the Federal Highway into Subang Jaya.

*note that the green boxes represent cars that HAVE BEEN QUEUING UP PORPERLY. (i’m in the red box).. then idiots make a third lane right before the junction and try to cut in to make the turn (THE PURPLE BOXES).. WHAT THE HELL MAN… QUEUE UP LAHHHHHH!!!! we already have people who drive on the bloody emergency lane, AS IF THAT’S NOT ENOUGH.. YOU HAVE TO GO MAKE THE JAM EVEN WORSE BY MAKING A THIRD LANE, YOU FRIGGING WANKERS !!!!…..

What pisses me off the most is, I often see people driving expansive cars  doing it… CLEARLY MONEY DOESN’T BUY YOU SOME COMMON DECENCY NOR COURTESY NOW DOES IT? Ohhh I PAID MORE FOR MY CAR, THEREFORE I OWN MORE RIGHTS ON THE ROAD.

 this is where it begins

oooo i drive a CLK 230.. i can drive here and cut in front of el cheapo car.. haha.. i pay more for my roadtax… i can do what i want!!!

I’M BIGGER THAN YOU.. GET OUT THE WAY MOTHERF&^KER

writer : ok this guy was pissing me off all the way from PJ, swerving here and there, MCB..

#@%$^%&*

WANKERS.

i’m just having another paranoia trip. i’ve been paranoid a lot you see.. since the time when i took a short walk to a 7-11 near the place i call home. it was about 3am, and i needed some cigarettes really badly. so there on i went, and got my cigarettes and on the walk home i was cornered by 7 indian chaps (drunk, most likely) and they started hounding and throwing their helmets at me… but that was a very long time ago, and since my mind has been wary and that’s when i started getting paranoid about things happening around me… and how my thoughts started straying into thinking of weird things.

*******

Last night, I made acquaintance with someone who works with one of the fast food chains that provided delivery services. we talked a little and i then came up with a weird idea. i decided to let him in on it, i decided that perhaps i would pay him about 200 ringgit for a piece of information i needed to test my theory out. so i explained to him what i needed, and that whatever information he gives me must stay between him and I. noone else. we made a deal. And that… was that.

0130hrs

i got a call from the person i knew. he told me that he just received an order around my area. GREAT… how convenient.. I hopped into my black car (yes thats the vehicle i choose to drive around when i’m stalking a prey.)

ah.. tree’s. WONDERFUL mango trees. just the perfect cover i need. I parked my car, got out and left the car unlocked. patiently i waited.

five minutes passed.

ten minutes passed.

and after twenty five minutes of waiting. i save a sole headlight heading up the street. I got up, and waved to the motorcyclist as he approached me.

“Ah… sampai jugak makanan aku!.. aduh.. sudah lama menuggu lapar tak terhingga ni. So.. brapa bill saya? ok.. saya bayar 25 ringgit. baki 6 ringgit tuh hang simpan la.. karang boleh hang gi dok layan kopi kejap. Ok.. terima kasih”

“Ah… finally my food has come!! OH.. THE HUNGER THAT I FEEL! you are really my saviour. If you weren’t wearing crappy shoes, i’d kneel and kiss those feet of yours that make you able to ride here to me as swift as the light to deliver my meal. So… how much do I owe you kind sir. Oh.. only 19 ringgit eh mate? i tell you what i’ll give u 25, you can keep the 6 ringgit, and go have breakfast or something. thanks alot.!!”

the delivery dude took the cash and sped off. i watched him as his brake lights faded into the darkness.

waited another five minutes.

i rang the door bell.

“Delivery!!” i hollared out.

His head popped out the door. and he soon appeared wearing only a white pagoda shirt and a pair of boxers. I stood behind the pillar waiting for him to come closer.

*smack* i whacked him on the head with my trusty 2 x 4 kayu meranti.

on a note i wrote.

kawan ku, saya tidak bermaksud untuk mengapa-apakan mu,
pada masa ini, sukar untuk saya mencari wang rezeki,

saya berharap agar kawan ku ini boleh memaafkan ku.
terima kasih

*ps*
burger tuh saya dah letak dalam microwave. walaupun dah hilang sedikit harta, sekurang-kurangnya, saudara tidak akan bersedih sambil kelaparan.

*****

ok so yeah all that’s made up. i never did rob anyone. i don’t think there’s any substance in the story anyway. but if you think u can be more careful. please do. crime rate really is rising. desperate people are driven to take desperate actions.

for sometime now i’ve not updated this blog. but hey today’s christmas right. ok i’m don’t exactly celebrate it, well not for what its supposed to be but well we’re friggin malaysian. i don’t need a reason to enjoy time with my friends right?

so anyway, i’m just a little ticked off at the moment. not because of what happened today or something that happened the day before. it’s more like a build up of everything since god knows when. well when i started writing this blog after putting a halt th the others before this, i originally planned not to write anything personal on here.. but what the heck i feel things too..

what’s brought all this feelings back was because, once i told a couple of friends that i really loved a certain vehicle, of a certain style of a certain age. in fact i was so specific that i even let them know the make, the model and the year it came in to production. and hey, i’ve been in love with this ‘thing’ since what?? since when i was fifteen. and yeah i love it more then just what it is, i love it for what it represents etc. i mean i really love it… i lust for it.. i lose sleep over it. especially now, since the opportunity is here for me to obtain on of those sexy beasts. but i can’t help but feel some slight angst to those who once made fun of me.. for actually liking something thats older then they are (and their age are like.. what.. nearly 30s).

i don’t see why they should judge me in that way. so yeah i like it. you may not. which is fine. but you don’t have to degrade me for something i admire. to me. it embodies style, taste etc. i love it for what it is, and what i want to make it. now that i can afford things that i really want, i’m buying things that i can actually express myself thru, i’d very much rather myself then some generic dude thats walking down the street in the wira’s and what not (no i’m not insulting those who drive wira’s… i’m merely stating that i walk a different path)

anyway, this post has no actual substance whatsoever. if there’s anyone reading this. i’m soooo sorry for wasting your time. but again. i’m just writing this to express something thats it

tango alpha twenty two… i really can’t wait to have you. and i hope i do. and i hope i am worthy enough to own you. (shit i’m talking to a car.. i’m going nuts!!!)